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Living a Carefree Life of Ease

You may be wondering why I am writing about ease in the middle of the credit crunch and when we are all facing the effects of recession! Many of you may be feeling a great deal of fear and uncertainty, so the idea of a carefree life seems a long way off. This is understandable, but the middle of a recession is a good time to take stock and see where our lives have gone out of balance.

I use the Psychology of Vision model in my coaching work and it has much to say about letting go of stress and re-discovering ease. I chose the words ‘letting go’ and ‘re-discovering’ carefully because they show that there is nothing new to learn in having a carefree life – it’s about removing the barriers that we have placed in our own way.

This might sound a bit silly because it can seem that other people and life places the barriers to our happiness, but this is just an illusion. If your life is terribly busy and you find yourself stressed it means that you are not following your true path in life and in your relationships. In short, you are not being ‘the real you’. All of us have fears and insecurities and deep layers of guilt from failed relationships (starting in childhood) and we try to suppress the feelings that go with these. In doing this we have to defend ourselves and separate physically, emotionally, and spiritually in our relationships. We create this distance because we associate our emotional pain with our dependence on people and believe that the only way to survive is to become unemotional and Independent.

Our whole society has slipped into this place in the last fifteen years and we can now see the cost of this in terms of stress and the failure of all our banking and commercial systems. The way out is to reconnect emotionally in our relationships. We must re-open our hearts that we have been defending so much and go into partnership with the people around us. Happiness and ease comes from how much we give rather than how much we acquire. By giving, from the heart, we automatically receive the positive things in life and all the fear and stress falls away. It is not a coincidence that America has elected a new President in Barack Obama, who has touched so many hearts with his message of selfless service and a sense of a caring community. Visionary leaders appear when we are ready to change.

It is through the quality of our relationships that we find ease and will live a carefree life. Look at your own relationships. When did you last say how much you loved your partner, your parents or your children? At work when did you last appreciate somebody or help somebody get through a difficult patch.? When did you last forgive somebody who was attacking you or making your life difficult? Even more importantly, when did you last appreciate yourself and feel self-love?

All these things take us in the direction of peace and ease. We are all designed to be in this state and yet we find all sorts of ways of fighting it. The world is in a pretty sad state at the moment. What it needs is a few visionary souls who can start spreading love rather than fear. Perhaps you could be one of those people and show that there is an easier way.

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