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...helping you find true love and happiness through your relationships

Why We Are Afraid of Love

You might be surprised by the article title – how could anyone be afraid of love - something that brings so much joy into our lives? Surely it is easy to love and be loved? What I would like to explain in this article is that love is in fact our greatest fear and that our avoidance of it lies at the heart of all our relationship problems – indeed all human problems.

To explain the fear of love we must understand what it really is. So much of our culture and media is obsessed with love as a sentiment – just another emotion that comes and goes like any other commodity. We fall in love and become deliriously happy and then fall out of love again and become miserable. Romantic love seems transient and fickle. But this is to completely misunderstand love.

Love is not an emotion – it is our natural state of being, and it connects us with everybody and everything in the Universe. Of course the bonds are invisible, but they form an infinite field of consciousness that we are all part of. When we fall in love we know ourselves as love and feel the joy of our personal and Universal connections. It feels so wonderful because we are allowing ourselves to feel all the love that is available to us – we are going home spiritually. But the problem is that we start to get frightened of so much love and start denying it. Before long fear and insecurity return to our lives and the feelings of love fade.

Although it can seem that our partner’s behaviour causes love to fade and the early ‘honeymoon period’ to come to end, this is an illusion. Falling in love, or feeling great love for somebody opens us up to our most fundamental state of connection where we realise that we are not separate entities controlled by our egos. This is terrifying for us because we only know ourselves as individual bodies and have built personalities that support our separateness. We live our lives independently rather than in partnership and this means that we have to shut down our hearts and push away love.

To accept our true identities means that we would stop seeing the difference and separation between ourselves and others and instead see that we are all One. We would need to stop judging people (including our partner’s!) and accept that we are accountable for everything. We would need to let go of our obsession with the physical body and embrace our spirituality. We would need let go of all of our fears that we have become addicted to and gained a perverse benefit from. We would need to accept that we are greater and more powerful than we could have ever dreamed. We would find our purpose, become leaders of society and show others the true nature of love and themselves. We would know ourselves simply as love.

Imagine yourself doing all these things and you will sense the fear that holds most of us back from embracing our true state of love and connection. We are scared of losing ourselves and letting go of our ego-based rewards, and yet to do so is the path to true happiness and fulfilment. Our relationship problems can be traced back to our denial of our true state of love and the best way to see them is as reminders to return to our authentic spiritual state. We can all do this by surrendering our ego’s and belief that we are separate and begin to know ourselves as love. There is nothing to learn and nothing to do - all that is required is to face the fear and trust in our higher mind, as we allow ourselves to become authentic. Love will then do the rest. Although most of us are afraid of love, recognising this fear is the key to healing and having more successful and happpy relationships

If you have found this article useful, you will find
much more information in my books

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These articles are based on my self-help books that are full of practical tips about how to bring more love, passion and joy to your relationship

'Bringing Back The Love'
How to fall in love all over again!


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How to Have The Life You Want
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How to Let Go of Somebody
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Spirituality, Love & Relationships

How Neediness Damages Relationships

Love - Turning Everything We Know About It On Its Head

Why Relationships Become Boring
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Making Love - Bringing the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Aspects of a Relationship Together

Cheating, Affairs & Infidelity

Sadness - How To Overcome It

How to Avoid Arguments & Rows in a Relationship

Living a Carefree Life of Ease

Surving a Recession - How to bring Abundance to your Relationship & Life

Unrequited Love - Its Origins & How
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Bad Choices - Why we sometimes
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The Art of Manifesting - Choosing
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8 Steps to Save Your Relationship

Why We Are Afraid of Love

How to Become Irresistible to your Partner

Save Your Marriage or Relationship

Is it possible to love more than one
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Letting Go of Envy & Jealousy

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True Giving

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What is Your True Purpose in Life and How This Affects Your Relationship

How Your Unconscious Mind Can
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The Things We Don't Tell Our Partner...

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Emotional Attachment

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