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addiction, alcohol, drug problem
...helping you find true love and happiness through your relationships




"Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems"

Homer Simpson






Alcohol or Drug Problem (Addiction)

You or your partner have a problem with some sort of addiction - drugs, alcohol, sex or perhaps even shopping.

You have a strong urge to indulge to excess when you are feeling unhappy.

You or your partner are always looking for something to make you happy.

Addiction is a disturbing problem, and it can be very difficult to help somebody who is in such a destructive cycle. It is important to understand that most addictions start with a desire to escape from emotional pain and feelings of low self-esteem. These usually originate in challenging family relationships, most often in childhood.

Indulgence is a lesser form of addiction where you struggle to resist temptations and then give in to urges. Once again these can be understood as compensations for difficult emotions such as guilt and low self-worth, that come out of challenges within your original family.


Note: These solutions are written as if you have the addiction issue - if it is your partner that has the issue, you can adapt the solution to help them.

If you are suffering addiction issues, I would recommend you have a three-pronged approach to healing it.

1. First find a specialist support group (such as Alcoholics Anonymous) where you can mix and be helped by those who have already found a way out of their addiction. Twelve Step programmes are available for many types of addiction - they have proven to be very successful.

2. At the same time seek to understand why you took on an addiction and work to let go of the emotional issues that led to it. This is also the approach to healing indulgence.

3. As you understand your psychology better, you will be in a stronger position to make new emotional choices that build your self-esteem and allow you to live without the need to indulge your addiction. The closer you are to your natural state of love, the less you will be inclined to indulge in order to gain comfort, or protect yourself from emotinal pain.


Addiction is a devastating condition and it wrecks lives, but there is a way through. My book (link below) describes in detail how self-esteem can be damaged, and how it can be rebuilt. This will help you or your partner with any self-help group work that you might do.

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