Betrayal in a Relationship

Possible Issues

- You feel betrayed by your partner

- You feel guilty because you have betrayed your partner

The Cause

Feeling betrayed can bring us to our knees - we may have placed great trust in a person only to find that they leave us or treat us cruelly.

It is tempting to put all the blame on our partner but this does not explain why betrayal patterns often repeat themselves throughout our lives. To understand this we must recognise that the pattern usually starts when we are young, with a betrayal or abandonment experience. This colours our perception of relationships and leads us to believe that people will always leave or abandon us. Ironically we then tend to bring people into our lives who have difficulty with commitment or are likely to betray us. We may do this to give us a chance to heal our fears of abandonment.

...the way through

If you have suffered betrayal, identify any recurring pattern. Search back in your life to the earliest incidence of betrayal, abandonment or of feeling let-down. Appreciate that whoever betrayed you was suffering themselves and try to forgive this person. It is also likely that you are hiding feelings of guilt for having let them down in some way - this is the nature of betrayal - we fear that we are also potential betrayers and this keeps us stuck in the pattern. Therefore you may need to forgive yourself for your part, no matter how unconsciously hidden, in the failure of a relationship.

Work to build your belief in yourself and the possibility of a sustainable, loving relationship. As you do this, you will heal the betrayal energy in your relationship and if you are not in a relationship, you will attract people who are less likely to betray you.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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