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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2012

 

 

 

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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a month"

Author Unknown

 

 

 

 

 

Being Blamed or Judged


Your partner is always blaming you for problems in the relationship and is judgmental.

You blame your partner or other people in your life for your problems.

You have a tendency to blame yourself when things go wrong.

 



If your partner is blaming you, then they are trying to put the responsibility for the relationship problem on you, rather than becoming accountable and accepting their part in the problem. Of course, you may be doing this to them as well!

Yor partner will blame you to offload the painful or unpleasant feelings they have from the current situation. However, these feelings are a repeat of feelings they had as a child or adolescent when they faced a similar emotionally challenging situation.

Everything we judge in another person is our own self-judgment projected outwards on to them. Embracing this powerful concept is the key to ending relationship power struggles.

 

Here are three things you can do if your partner is always blaming you (or you can do if you feel yourself blaming your partner).:

1. If your partner is blaming you they are projecting their self-blame onto you. In other words they are full of guilt and low self-worth and are passing these feelings to you rather than experiencing them themselves. By understanding this you will find more compassion for them, which you will need for step 2.

2. Refuse to react to the blame and judgment - instead notice what they are blaming you for and hold up an imaginary mirror to reflect back their negative energy. Whatever they judge you for, they are judging themselves for.

3. Armed with this knowledge pour love into them, particularly in the areas of their self-judgment. If you can talk to them sensitively about this issue and see if you can help them find where these negative self-beliefs came from. Work to heal them together.

 

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Need More Help?....
My book Bringing Back The Love explains in detail how judgment of our partners destroys the relationship. It also shows how to change judgment into compassion and empathy and re-discover the love that brought you together with your partner in the first place.

 

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