Here are three ways to work with somebody who is controlling (or reduce your temptation to control):
1. Somebody who is controlling is actually very afraid inside (although they will usually be unaware of this). If you can remember this, you will be less frightened yourself of the control and better able to respond to them in a way that helps them.
2. What they lack is a feeling of self-love. Their control is designed to compensate for this and make them feel better about themselves. Therefore think of how you can make them feel secure and loved. Model self-love and avoid reacting negatively to their control.
3. If you can, talk to them about their control and how it makes you and other people feel. Don't blame them but see if you can encourage them to talk about their feelings and why they control things. They are stuck in a independent state of mind and you can help them to open their heart again so they can better relate with you and other people. This will reduce their need to control.