Possible Issues

- You do not feel physically attractive

- You worry about your looks and spend much time trying to ensure that you look attracitve

- You feel great pressure by society to look attractive

The Cause

It is only natural to want to look our best if we are trying to find a partner or are already in a relationship - this shows self-respect and a pride in our appearance. The problem comes when the focus on our physical image becomes obsessive and self-conscious. We may become insecure about our 'looks' and begin to believe we are unattractive.

Such a preoccupation with physical appearance may come from a lack of self-esteem. We believe that people will love us for our looks rather than our personality and sense of self-worth. It can be a diversion from building our self esteem - dealing with the insecurities that make us feel unworthy.

Society does have expectations around physical image and weight but these are simply the collective repsonse to emotional insecurites that a great many people have. It is our choice how much we are affected by these pressures.

The Way Through

The first thing to remember is that there is much more to attractiveness than the physical. A natural confidence and charm and a relaxed attitude to the body are very attractive qualities and these leave space for the real you to emerge. Think of the times you have fallen in love or simply fancied somebody - they were probably not the best looking man or woman in the world, but there was something you did find attractive about them. Often it is our energy, a certain chemistry that people find attractive and luckily we are all attracted to different types of people!

Tip If you are in a relationship and experience a lack of compliments about your looks, try genuinely complimenting your partner. Tell your partner what you find attractive about them and the chances are that they will return a heartfelt compliment. In most cases both partners have aspects of their looks and self-image that they dislike (sometimes even hate) and it is always useful to discuss these sensitively - the chances are you partner finds these things attractive or that they don't bother them at all.

As you find your true self and become comfortable with who you are, you will automatically radiate beauty and confidence. This is a progressive process and as you feel better about yourself, the feelings of being unattractive will fade. many of the tips and techniques in this website will help you build self-belief.

Work to reveal the 'whole you' by healing the insecurities that lead to low confidence and poor self-esteem. Remember you are beautiful just the way you are and people love you just the way you are !

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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