Heartbroken

Possible Issues

- You are feeling heartbroken by the ending of your relationship.

-Your life has lost its meaning - you lack energy and can't imagine how you can be happy again without your partner

- There was a traumatic experience earlier in your life that you have never come to terms with

The Cause

There are very few people who have not experienced a heartbreak of some kind in their life. Relationships are critical to our well-being and we invest huge amounts of emotional energy in them. If we are betrayed, somebody leaves us or we are bereaved, we can lose the very thing that made our life worth living.

These feelings of loss become damaging when we have over-relied on another person to bring us happiness. We all have emotional needs and can easily become dependent on another person to fulfil them. Our outward search for happiness and meaning readily focuses on a partner or sometimes a child or parent. This can provide us a degree of contentment but it leaves us unable to cope if that person leaves. It is as if a part of us has been taken away.

Our adult heartbreaks are usually a replay of childhood heartbreaks - situations that upset us so much that we buried them away in our minds in the hope that we could then get on with our lives. Unfortunately they often repeat themselves later in life when we are then reminded of our original dependence and heartbreak. This can be very painful. These buried feelings of heartbreak create our negative feelings and wreak havoc on the emotional quality of our lives.

The Way Through

There will always be times in your life when you have to say goodbye and let go of loved ones. These will always be poignant experiences but they need not destroy you. If you are devastated by a loss, ask yourself how much you have relied on that person to make you feel happy - did you become dependent on them?

Dependence denies your own power and gifts. It is time to gain more awareness around your needs and emotions. You already have the very gifts that you looked to your partner to provide. Earlier in your life you were hurt and decided to turn away from these wonderful aspects of your personality - central to this would have been your capacity for self love. Become curious about these early heartbreaks and through understanding come to accept that you may have made mistaken choices about the situation and about your self-worth. As you heal these heartbreaks, the pain you are feeling from loss or betrayal will reduce and your entire life will move forward.

Healing our heartbreaks is the key to a life full of joy, meaning and fulfilment.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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