Possible Issues

- You and your partner live at a distance from each other and this puts a strain on your relationship

- You have a pattern of long-distance relationships

- You always seem to be saying goodbye to your partner

The Cause

Although it is possible to have a good relationship at a distance, it can slow the bonding process - the relationship can become a series of extended dates. Choosing a partner at a distance can be a subtle way of making sure we do not have to commit to them fully. We can maintain an independent life and have a relationship when it suits.

Unfortunately this type of relationship often founders because the level of connection is not sufficient to bring about a feeling of partnership. It also brings on feelings of neediness when parted and tedium tinged with a sense of sacrifice around the time, effort and expense incurred in travelling.

The Way Through

If you are struggling with a long-distance relationship, consider the possibility that you may be avoiding commitment. Do you really like your independence and resent having to give it up through partnership?

Commit to your partner and see what happens - if the relationship is true it will move to its next level. If it is not, the relationship will end naturally and with mutual agreement.

If you have experienced a pattern of failed long-term relationships, ask yourself why you might not want a full-blown relationship. Work to let-go of your independence through understanding and healing any fears around commitment and the emotional closeness that is part of a relationship.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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