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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2012






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moaning, nagging
...helping you find true love and happiness through your relationships




"It`s a waste of time to think about what I should have done and what I didn`t. I really believe in that. That`s how I react to the if-onlys of life. To moan and groan about something I shouldn`t have done, could have done, might have done . . . who knows? It is what it is. You got what you got. I live my life one day at a time."

Liza Minnelli






Moaning, Nagging & Negativity

Your partner is always moaning, nagging or taking a negative view of things.

You feel negative about your relationship, or other aspects of your life, and worry that this will drive your partner away.

You are always cheery, but your partner always seems down.

Moaning and negativity are a result of your fundamental beliefs about the world and yourself. If you or your partner believe that things will get worse then that is exactly what you will experience - your mind can create any outcome that you focus on - which incidently is why positive thinking works.

A negative approach to life is associated with low self-esteem and turning away from your natural state of love and connection. This usually stems from misunderstandings in your childhood where you were disappointed or frightened by a situation and lost faith in your abilities and gift of love. These feelings project themselves outwards into your relationships and become a negative spiral in your life.


Here are three ways to help end moaning and feeling negative - they are focused on your partner, but are equally applicable to yourself:

1. Recognise that if your partner is moaning or being negative, they are feeling unhappy and are fundamentally lacking in love. This means they have lost their natural connection to love.

2. Your task is to inspire your partner to feel self-love. First find compassion for their internal suffering - they are in pain.Then appreciate them for the things you love about them. Pour love into and onto them.

3. Find some way to talk with them about their feelings, making it clear that you do not blame them for their negativity. Find out what need is not being met for them in the relationship or what they are worrying about. Own any of your own negative behaviour and apologise if necessary.

Carrying through the three steps above should make your partner more positive, but if you would like more help with this issue have a look at my book - see below

Need More Help?....
My book Bringing Back The Love describes why people end up being negative and moaning and how you can help them become more positive.


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