The Triangle Model Explained

The Psychology of Vision Triangle Model is a ground-breaking holistic model for understanding and improving the quality of our relationships. It charts our psychological evolution and identifies a number phases and stages that we typically move through in life.

Try to identify the current stage of your relationship or life from the descriptions below...

DEPENDENCE

The model starts at the bottom left-hand corner with birth. We recognise a phase of Dependence where we rely on other people for our well-being

NEEDS - We all come into the world with needs - physical, emotional and spiritual. We are instinctively aware of the physical dangers around us and the risk of abandonment. We are dependent on other people for our survival and for our needs to be met. Our need for love is paramount in our healthy emotional development

Understanding the importance of needs in human relationships and learning to recognise when they are having a negative impact on your life. Learning how to avoid neediness.

HEARTBREAK - Our emotional problems begin when we beleive our needs have not been met, particularly our need for love. It is by being loved and cared for that we learn how to love ourselves, others and form successful relationships. The disappointment, grievance and hearbreak of this stage leads to negative, attention-seeking behaviours that are a call for love. Alternatively we may give up on ourselves and withdraw from life.

Moving to a state of acceptance about your earliest emotional experiences and appreciating how these have set up potentially damaging relationship patterns in your life.

GUILT - From the sadness and pain of heartbreak we begin to draw some damaging conclusions about ourselves, other people and about love. We will tend to resent and blame the people who we believe have failed to meet our needs (often our parents), then we blame ourselves for having failed them This creates a sense of personal failure, inadequacy and guilt. It damages our self-esteem and capacity for self-love and most crucially creates a distance in our relationships.

Learning to forgive the people around you for any grievance or disappointment and to forgive yourself for having let them down. Building self-esteem and self-love. Removing judgment. This is the most critical element of our approach and we will help and support you through this often challenging process.

INDEPENDENCE

We escape from any feelings of heartbreak, failure and guilt by becoming Independent. This usually gives us more success and happiness in the short-term but hides a big secret - our Independence is a smokescreen to avoid ever again feeling the pain of Dependence. As we bury those feelings, we inadvertently damage our relationships and rob ourselves of long-term happiness.

EXPECTATIONS - The central theme of Independence is that we will determine our own success and happiness and stop relying on other people. To do this we create a series of expectations for how we and others must behave to achieve success and avoid the experience of failure that might trigger our hidden guilt.

Recognising when you have become Independent and are placing expectations and demands on yourself and others. Letting go of the need to be successful and seen as a success.

CONTROL & POWER STRUGGLE - Our demands on other people to do things 'our way' results in the need for control which inevitably ends in power struggle and conflict. Arguments and rows in romantic relationships come out of this stage. Deep down we are fighting for our needs to be met that we felt we no met in the past.

Ending your need for control and replacing it with trust.. Learning to catch yourself from entering into power struggles and understanding that they are a call for love. Communicating in ways that end conflict and bring people back together.

THE DEAD ZONE - If a relationship survives the power struggle stage it may end up in the Dead Zone where there is boredom, a lack of energy and a loss of feelings of love in romantic relationship.It happens because to become Independent we disconnect in our relationships and stop feeling our ful spectrum of emotions as a way of protecting us from our feelings from dependency.

Learning to recognise when you or others are in this stage and how to escape it without suffering deadness, stress or burnout. Closing the distance both physical and emotional in your romantic relationships.

INTERDEPENDENCE

To escape from the Dead Zone we must open our hearts and emotionally re-connect in our relationships. This means we need to feel our full range of emotions and deal with any remaining issues of failure, inadeuqcy and guilt from our Dependent period, that have given us a fera of emotional intimacy.

LEADERSHIP - One of the easiest ways to move into Interdependence is to move into Leadership within our relationships which means responding to the emotional needs of the people around us with love and compassion. This can be difficult because of our own fears around emotional intimacy, our tendency to self-attack and our fear of of attack from other people.

Discovering how you can move from Independence to Interdependence (Partnership) by revealing your leadership gifts. Recognising the many calls for help and repsonding appropriately. Avoiding self-attack.

VISION - As we let go of our fear and guilt we will naturally reveal our true selves which will always be full of creativity, confidence and giftedness. We will have faith in a positive future, rather than dwell on the problems and pain of the past.Life will become easier for us and we will increasingly use our intuition to solve problems.

Revealing the real you! Releasing your natural stores of vision, creativity and inspiration. Learning how to work with ease by using your intuition to solve problems and by embracing your giftedness.

MASTERY - During Vision we will have increasingly embraced our higher mind and states of consciousness and recognise that our capacity for love and creativity originates from an innate spirituality. As we let go of our deepest fears we focus on our life's purpose and experience our true potential in our relationships and our work. We live in the present in a state of love, joy and peace.

Learning to trust your spiritual guidance and to live for the moment. letting go of your deepst fears and revealing the love that lies underneath. 'Being' rather than 'doing'.

ONENESS

If we can gain sufficient self-awarness and access our highest states of consciousness we realise that everything and everybody is connected in a vast energy field that is called Oneness. We are essentially all one and linked by love. This explains why we suffer so much when we deny this state of connection and create separation in our relationships. It also tells us how we can find true happiness - all we need to do is re-connect and embrace the the loving bonds that unite us all.

For those who are really ambitious...Completing the journey through enlightnement to Oneness. Exploring the highest states of consciousness and experiencing total spiritual dependence and the joy that goes with it.

How to discover more love and happiness in your relationships and life...