Possible Issues

- Your partner is often moody and withdrawn

- You have felt an urge to sulk in order to make your displeasure known

The Cause

In relationships all behaviour, both positive and negative can be seen as forms of communication. Sulking and acting moodily are negative examples where we or our partner decide to withdraw our love and feelings of connection to show our displeasure. While it may indicate to a partner that something is wrong, it it is ineffective because it prevents any resolution of the original problem.

If we choose to withdraw from our partner through moodiness, we are effectively saying - I am unhappy and I am going to punish you for that. This attack then causes them to withdraw.

The Way Through

Avoid any temptation to go into a sulk or become sullen and moody - it will always damage your relationship. If you feel hurt, describe to your partner how their behaviour has made you feel, without blaming or judging them in any way. Realise that they must be hurting as well to have behaved in this way. By moving towards them, rather than withdrawing, you have vastly increased the chances of finding resolution. Providing that this is done sensitively, such communication helps us to know when we have hurt somebody - often we are completely unaware we have done so!

If your partner uses moodiness to communicate, then appreciate that they are feeling hurt or insecure and try to find out how they are feeling. It is at the level of feelings that all emotional healing occurs.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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