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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.
© P.J.Granger 2012
“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.”
Kahlil Gibran
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Not Letting Go |
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You are finding it hard to let go of somebody and it is making it difficult to move on with your life.
You cannot get your ex. partner out of your mind - the pain keeps replaying itself. Your partner has still not let go of somebody important from their past and this is getting in the way of your relationship. |
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Not letting go of somebody (holding on to them) can happen in two main ways.
The first is when you become dependent on your partner to bring you love and happiness. If they leave your life you feel you have lost these things and do not believe you can get them from yourself or anybody else. The second is when you (or your partner) hold on to the resentment, hurt or sad feelings from a failed relationship. You replay the pain because you cannot forgive your ex. for what they have done.
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Here are three things you can do to let go of an ex. partner (or help your partner, if they have this issue): 1. Develop your confidence and self-esteem so that you can break your dependence on your partner. You have the very gifts that you looked to your partner to give to you. 2. Recognise any resentment or hurt you are still feeling towards your ex. and work to forgive them for their behaviour. Reach a point where you can genuinely bless them in their new life. 3. Identify any guilt that you might be hanging on to because of anything you did/did not do in the relationship that lead to its failure. Forgive yourself for this - you did your best and can now learn from that experience.
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Letting go of an ex. partner can be very difficult, but it can be achieved if you find enough self-love. I devote a whole chapter to letting go in my book - see below
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