Poor Communication in a Relationship

Possible Issues

- Your partner is poor at communicating with you.

- You don't feel any desire to communicate with your partner.

- Misunderstanding and arguments often stem from a lack of clear communication.

The Cause

Good communications are the hallmark of a good relationship. In contrast, poor or ineffective communications are the cause of most relationship problems. Ideally we would communicate everything we are thinking and feeling to our partners so that they know what is worrying us and can share when we are feeling postive. There would be no secrets or no-go areas.

Unfortunately we may choose to limit or stop our verbal communication and this has a disastrous effect on a relationship. Even when the words have stopped, non-verbal communication such as body language or mood is still present and this can carry negative messages.

If we or our partner have stopped communicating it shows that there is an issue so painful that we have subconsciously decided to reduce all verbal communication for fear that we might raise this dificult issue. Low levels of communication become a vicious circle because the silence creates fear and a sense of disconnection which in turn breeds more withdrawal.

The Way Through

Do not try to force your partner to talk. The key is to find out why they have stopped communicating. Be willing to communicate your own feelings and concerns in a way that will not impose them on your partner. Make it safe to discuss emotions by showing compassion and by avoiding judgment. Look out our for body language and non-verbal cues.

The chances are that your partner is not talking about the relationship and their feelings for fear that they might not be able to handle the emotions that arise. They might also be frightened of losing the relationship. While silence and avoidance will allow two people to coexist, the insecurity will always re-emerge in another, usually destructive form.

Try to set a pattern of honest, heartfelt communication from the very beginning of a relationship - this will allow you to work through the differences that will always surface in a relationship in a way that allows growth and strengthening of your partnership.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

* Email
	* = Required Field