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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.
© P.J.Granger 2012
"It's not what you say that damages your relationship, it's what you don't say"
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Poor Communication |
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Your partner is poor at communicating with you. You don't feel any desire to communicate with your partner. Misunderstandings and arguments often stem from a lack of clear communication.
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Effective and emotionally meaningful communications are the hallmark of a successful relationship because it allows problems to be aired and solved maturely.
If there is a lack of communication, or the communication that is happening is full of blame and recrimination, there is key issue that is not being addressed. If you and your partner are not communicating well, there is a subject that neither of you wants to talk about because it brings up too much pain. You will either talk about everything except the thing that really matters, or avoid communication in general, in case the difficult issue comes out.
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Here are three things you can do to improve the quality of communications in your relationship: 1. Remove all blame and judgment from your communications as this will just close your partner down. Set the goal for your discussion to be an increase in the amount of love and understanding that exists between you and your partner. 2. Summon up courage and sensitively start talking about whatever it is that is missing for you in your relationship. Ask your partner what is missing for them. This will relate to a need that is not being met for both of you, the subject of which triggers fear and powerful emotions in you both. 3. Be as honest as you can with your partner and encourage them to be honest with you. Do this in the spirit of learning and self-development. Remember how easy it was to talk when you fell in love - you can get back to those conversations if you remove the emotional barriers that have got between you and your partner.
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Talking honestly and openly with your partner can be difficult, especially if this has not been happening for some time. I devote a whole chapter to the subject of emotionally meaningful communications in my book Lovecoach
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