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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.
© P.J.Granger 2012
The Stages of a Relationship
All relationships evolve naturally through these four key stages. It is crucial that you recognise these
phases so you can work through them to find true and lasting love. (Click images to review each stage)
1. Honeymoon |
2. Power Struggle |
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Your needs and insecurities gradually appear. You begin to upset and hurt each other. |
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More about the... Power Struggle StageFor most relationships the honeymoon stage eventually ends, typically after six months to one year. You begin to see aspects of your partner which make you feel uncomfortable. They may react to situations differently from you, or act in ways that you find difficult, or begin to lose interest in you. During the honeymoon stage you and your partner deliberately (though subconsciously) hide the negative aspects of your personality and behaviour and focus on giving and receiving love. As you become more familiar and closer to your partner, the negative traits begin to rise to the surface. This can come as a huge disappointment because you realise that your partner is not as perfect as you thought - worse still they think the same about you! The sense of unease causes both of you to withdraw from each other and this sets up a damaging pattern for the relationship.
Arguments and rows are your higher, intuitive mind's attempt to bring back the love. The fights are about getting your needs met (by receiving the love of your partner) so you do not have to feel into your fears - something that you will have had long before you met.
...pitfalls
- Disappointment that the deep feelings of love have disappeared. You may think your partner has changed (they haven't!).
- You become irritated by your partner and judge them negatively. This makes you withdraw from them, making matters worse.- You may find yourself in disagreements and arguments that end in rows.
- You begin to doubt if your partner really is the right one for you and if this carries on, may choose to end the relationship, or find that your partner makes the same choice.
...the way throughIt is terribly important that you realise that the Power Struggle stage is a normal and healthy part of a relationship. The needs and insecurities that you are fighting about are coming up to be healed. The key to getting through the Power Struggle is therefore to work with your partner on these needs and insecurities and use them as a springboard to a better, more bonded relationship.
My book Lovecoach describes the Power Struggle Stage in detail and will show you how to navigate each stage successfully to reach partnership and true love |
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These stages are based on the model for relationships originally developed by Susan Campbell in her book The Couple's Journey (1980) and adapted by Dr. C. Spezzano - go to model description
who might find it useful
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