Possible Issues

- You don't have too much trouble finding partners but the relationship is usually short-lived.

- You fall deeply in love with somebody but all too soon problems arise in the relationship.

- You are continually being left in a relationship.

- You have had a string of one-night-stands that never turn into long-term relationships.

The Cause

Short-lived relationships are usually an indication that you are either choosing the wrong type of person or that your insecurities around relationships are causing you to either leave too early or the other person leaves you before the relationship has had a chance to develop.

A relationship brings us close together with another person both physically and emotionally. Such intimacy will always bring up emotional issues and insecurities that both partners may have subconsciously chosen not to deal with in their lives. When this happens the level of emotional pain increases to the point that one or both partners may bail out rather than deal with the issues. In many cases this spoils what could otherwise develop into a long-term, successful relationship.

The Way Through

If those early feelings of love begin to fade and are replaced by anxiety and uncertainty, do not act too hastily - give the relationship a chance.

The key to developing an early relationship is to understand that intimacy will bring up both partner's fears and unhealed emotional issues. You can think of this as the primary purpose of a relationship. These challenges give you the opportunity to grow as individuals and form a supportive partnership.

However, to achieve this you will need to be willing to continually move towards your partner and maintain the communication, even when they are behaving badly. Remember bad behaviour is always a sign of a deeper level of emotional pain and can be the cue for you to show compassion. This is what emotional maturity is all about. As you gain trust you will learn to work through your shared concerns and anxieties about the relationship and build a lasting partnership.

If you give the relationship a chance and try to work through those first 'issues' that arise you will be in a much better position to assess the truth of the relationship.

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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