Possible Issues

- You are looking for a partner with a specific personality and set of qualities

- You often find many of these qualities but one or two critical ones are missing

- You are tempted to give up your search as you wonder if your ideal partner is out there.

The Cause

When we are searching for a partner there is a temptation to hold out until we find Mr or Mrs Perfect - somebody who meets all our criteria for an ideal partner. Unfortunately we are unlikely to find this person as nobody is perfect - we all have areas that we could improve.

We become choosy because we have become afraid to deal with the inevitable negative emotions that are a characteristic of all relationships. By finding somebody who has not got any hang-ups or insecurities we believe we will find happiness without having to deal with our own insecurities.

The Way Through

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with choosing certain qualities and characteristics in a potential partner - it becomes problematic when we place an expectation on ourselves to find this person and if we do, for them to live up to our expectations.

By all means make a list of the attributes of your ideal partner but then let go of all attachment and expectation about finding them. Although this seems perverse it will remove your neediness from the search and attract this person into your life - you are manifesting what you desire but are open and relaxed about the outcome - do try this out, you may be surprised at the outcome!

Legal Notice - Medical Advice

All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2007

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