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All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

This site is based on the principles of The Psychology of Vision. Please note that the content of the site is not endorsed by the organisation, and they cannot be held responsible for the content

© P.J.Granger 2012

...helping you find true love and happiness through your relationships

Understanding Love & Relationships



In this website you will find many free articles and an online coaching system called Lovecoach. This will help you understand love and bring much more of it into your relationships and life. But to do this here are the basic principles that you will need:

The No. 1 Relationship Problem-Solving Tip

This website provides help with the range of typical problems that can crop up in a relationship. There is however one issue that is common to all these problems, and in fact it’s the most important relationship principle there is. It is:

If your partner is behaving badly,
they are hurting inside

While this is a simple enough idea, it is incredibly difficult to accept in practice. When your partner is behaving in an unpleasant or hurtful way, the last thing you will feel like doing is to be kind and empathic towards them. And yet this emotionally mature response to bad behaviour is the key to solving your problems and having a much happier, love-filled relationship.

The way to work with this principle is to understand the underlying cause of all relationship problems. Our essential state is one of love and connection to the people and world around us. We suffer whenever we turn away from this state and start believing that we are separate and personally lacking in love. When we lose our connection to love, fear and pain immediately enters our mind. We try to ignore this pain by becoming dependent on the people around us to give us love, or by becoming independent so that we can pretend that we don’t need love. Both these strategies create a range of negative behaviours that push our partners away and hurts them.

So if your partner is driving you mad, under-valuing you, withdrawing from you, or acting in an untrustworthy way (or any number of other problematic ways), then they have lost touch with their natural state of love and connection. It doesn’t matter how confident and happy they seem on the surface, if you are not experiencing love from them, then they are hurting inside.

Understanding Love and Relationships
The way forward for any relationship problem is therefore to recognise bad behaviour as a call for love.  Avoid judging your partner for their behaviour and then open your heart so you can bring love back to yourself and your partner. This is an act of supreme leadership, but I promise you that it will always work. Do have a look at my online coaching module called Lovecoach for practical ways to solve a variety of relationship problems using the principle I have just described.

If you are Interested in applying these ideas to your relationship, my book Bringing Back The Love contains a thorough explanation of why relationships run into trouble and how to rediscover the love that brought you together with your partner in the first's all about Understanding Love and Relationships!

Discovering and understanding love


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"When Two Hearts
Beat As One"

Ground-breaking scientific research about relationships

See the latest research that shows us that our hearts can communicate in non-sensory ways, even when we are separated from the people we love!



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A book that will help you understand the
man in your life...

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No 1. Relationship
Problem-Solving Tip

Turning Love on it's Head

Why Love Is Your Essence

The Stages of A Relationship
Power Struggle

Dead Zone

Partnership & True Love

How to Save or Improve any Relationship

The Power of Love

Triangle Model Explained

Understanding Emotions

The Origins of Guilt & Low

Top Ten Relationship Tips

Top Ten Dating Tips

Two Hearts Really
Can Beat As One





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