Understanding Love . Blog . Books . Articles . Counselling . Workshops . Contact Us . Useful Websites . Privacy

Can't find what you are looking for? Try the site search


Legal Notice - Medical Advice
All advice in this website is given in good faith and no responsibility can be accepted by the website owners for issues or problems that occur as a consequence of using the website content. If you have any concerns about your psychological health you are advised to contact a doctor or other suitably qualified medical/psychiatric practioner.

© P.J.Granger 2012





Heartbond App

Feel the love and see the connection in your relationships

Be one of the first to experience this amazing Android app
(more information)

link takes you to our
new website heartbond.co.uk

Android is a trademark
of Google LLC

This site uses cookies - check our policy above. If you use the site we will assume you are a appy with it




emotional withdrawal


...helping you find true love and happiness through your relationships




“There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.” 

Carl Jung





Emotional Withdrawal

Your partner emotionally withdraws from you when things become difficult in the relationship. They close down emotionally and stop communicating with you.

When your partner withdraws, you feel a sense of rejection and hurt. It feels like the relationship is at risk.

You are tempted to withdraw from your partner when you are upset for your own emotional protection, and perhaps to make them realise that you are displeased with them.

Your partner will withdraw from you, or you will withdraw from them when there is a fear of feeling into something particularly painful. Negative emotions such as feelings of failure, inadequacy and guilt sit deeply in your subconscious mind and these can be triggered when you have a challenging situation, or you become very intimate, or honest with each other.

Emotional withdrawal will usually involve a physical withdrawal and negative body language and will hurt the other partner because it feels as if they are no longer loved. Emotional withdrawal is a common characteristic of abusive relationships.

Here are three things you can do to increase the amount of emotional connection with your partner:

1. The the first thing to appreciate is that your partner's withdrawal is not meant as an attack on you. They are afraid to feel into an important negative emotion and they have withdrawn to protect themselves from pain.

2. Do not judge or try to control your partner. It is love that will take away their fear. Therefore offer them compassion and make it clear you want to understand why they are moving away and are unwilling to engage emotionally with you.

3. Be willing to open your heart and feel into your own emotions, both positive or negative. In this way you will lead your partner in the healing and encourage them to be more emotionally expressive. If you have any problem in your relationship always be willing to move towards your partner in the spirit of love - this will always help matters.

Finding compassion for your partner when they have emotionally withdrawn from you can be very difficult, especially if they are behaving in a negative or hurtful way. I discuss this problem in my book(Link below) and give you plenty of practical ways to forgive them and bring the love back to your relationship.


Please feel free to share this page with anybody you know,
who might find this book useful













with friends

free online relationship coaching